History is Big

While my approach to psychology places its emphasis on moving forward, I don’t deny the role of history in shaping us and giving us the tools for personal growth. What keeps many people stuck, however, is the selective reading of their own histories. Too often, people emphasize attempts that have fallen short, non-successes, and rejections. We all have those in our histories, but successful people learn from negative experiences even though they are not as much fun or rewarding as are our victories. I’ve also found that successful and happy people tend to possess another very important skill – the ability to be fair to themselves when interpreting their histories. Indeed, each person’s history is big and marked by lot’s of things that have gone right.

Change is hard enough, even for those of us who find it exciting. Making a change – such as applying for a job, breaking a habit, or learning to express true feelings – involves an element of risk. It won’t seem quite as risky, however, when your confidence level is enhanced by the recognition of the successes that are undoubtedly sprinkled throughout you history.

I encourage to take an inventory of your history so that you can have the recall of past successes readily available to you.  That will enable you to fairly evaluate future chances for success when facing new challenges. Some risks are not worth taking, but that shouldn’t be the default position until you’ve given honest consideration to good things that you’ve accomplished in the past.

Ron Kaiser, Ph.D.

A Description Is Not A Prediction

Those of us who come from a positive psychology orientation are having our faith tested these days. With the economy in turmoil, three wars going on in the Middle East, and oil prices skyrocketing, there is no shortage of bad news. At a time like this, it is important to recognize that the news is a description of what’s going on; it’s not a predictor of the future. Proactivity can change the course of events in a positive direction.

At any point in time, we are participants in a process. We are not at the outcome point, and it’s not fair to ourselves to look at an unhappy situation that we have some ability to control and say, “this is a good as it’s going to get.” In the U.S., for example, both the presidential election of 2008 and the congressional elections of 2010, the outcomes were greatly impacted in two separate directions by groups of voters who were passionate about their causes and became more actively involved than most had ever been before.

Each of us have areas of inertia that we haven’t gotten around to addressing – whether it be losing weight, exercising more, reading more, staying in touch with old friends, sending out our resumes to search for a more satisfying job, or volunteering to help others. Our inertia may have even earned us a description such as couch potato, out of shape, or lazy. Even if those descriptions are accurate, that’s what they are -DESCRIPTIONS; NOT PREDICTIONS.

The term, “What Can Go Right?” is not just a question or the name of my book. It should be the first question asked when facing challenges. It can lead to the kind of proactive and positive activities that can get you unstuck and increasing motivation to make personal changes and to give you a sense of empowerment to contribute to making the larger changes in the world that can lead to more positive news.

Visit our companion website for more guidance in a positive direction:  www.thementalhealthgym.com

Ron Kaiser, Ph.D.

Podcast of Radio Interview

On April 8th, I was interviewed on the “Personal Best” radio show hosted by Kristin Tews. Several key ideas from What Can Go Right? were discussed and expanded upon. The interview is now available via podcast on the station’s website – http://www.wkrs.com. Kristin is a gracious and knowledgeable interviewer, and the website also has several other podcasts of interesting interviews conducted with recent guests – many of which also reflect a positive approach to dealing with issues.

Ron Kaiser, Ph.D.

DON’T CALL IT LUCK!

Among the cognitive barriers to making good things happen is our ability to downplay our contributions to the things that we accomplish. Rather than embracing successes and building upon them, we may treat our role as being lucky or trivial or something that anybody can do. the issue of luck is addressed in the following excerpt from the book.

LUCK: Many of us had the experience of watching a sporting event with a scenario somewhat similar to this. A basketball game is winding down, and a team is behind by one or two points. A player on the team that is behind takes the ball, comes over the centerline, aims at the basket, shoots, and the ball goes in. Spectators turn to one another and say that was a lucky shot – despite the fact that the player aimed and intended for it to go in. Sometimes that happens with respect to chip shots in golf and sometimes it happens with respect to other achievements in other activities as well as sports. The fact that something is not a high percentage opportunity but was attempted does not make its achievement a lucky thing. Going back to my school days many years ago, I remember that at least one time when I was faced with a test for which I did not have sufficient time in my schedule to fully prepare (an excuse that I can assure you that my instructor would not have accepted). I decided to study with an emphasis on a particular part of the subject. The instructor wound up asking many questions from the part that I studied. I recall thinking how lucky I was, but then I rethought it. The reality is that if I had a limited amount of time to study, why would I study the part that I didn’t think would be asked? Again, I recognize that there was an element of chance in my approach to studying, but it would be inappropriate to call it luck. The problem with calling it luck is that it says nothing about me or the basketball player or the golfer who did make the effort to achieve. If we don’t call it luck, we can focus on the achievement and use that as a background for understanding why we did what we did. That understanding becomes part of our experiences that we can call upon in the future to increase our chances of making good things happen.

What made me decide to write a book

People often ask me what made me decide to write the ebook, WHAT CAN GO RIGHT? After all, I’ve not been much of a writer – aside from a journal article or book chapter from time to time, and I’ve got a full-time job and a wife, children, and grandchildren who are active parts of my life. My answer is a simple one: I HAD TO WRITE IT.

In my psychology practice, I’ve worked with too many bright, personable, attractive, and nice people who causing themselves unhappiness and limitations by overthinking about what could go wrong whenever they faced challenges. I found myself frequently asking patients, who were overwhelmed by really manageable challenges and immobilized by catastrophic thinking, to ask themselves the seemingly simple question, “what can go right?’ I’m no longer surprised by the typical responses that generally range from, “I’ve never thought of that” to, “I can tell you what can go wrong but not what can go right.” Although I come from a cognitive-behavioral therapy background, I hadn’t totally appreciated how limiting a pessimistic outlook can be or how quickly positive changes can occur when therapy starts with a positive focus on the future. Once I realized this and shared in my patients’ greater successes and greater enjoyment of life, I knew that I had to write the book.

Future blogs will focus on other aspects of this process as well discussing parts of the books and some additional thinking, writing, and research that stems from it.

Hello world!

Welcome to whatcangoright.wordpress.com. This is about What Can Go Right, my book, and about this way of approaching life. My name is Ron Kaiser, and I will be talking about both.